I went into such great detail about her ordeal
over the mountains because this was the first encounter with death of our angel. Megan was on antibiotics off and on clear
through the summer.
nightmare happened on Tuesday August 8, 2000. Megan
slept in that day like usual Ďtil about 2:00pm (yes she enjoyed her sleep much
like her parents). When I went to get
her out of bed she seemed to be sweating yet was cool to the touch. I got her dressed her hair done and all the
things we usually did when she finally woke up.
We went out on "her" couch and got her breathing treatment and
feeding out of the way. She had therapy that day so we wanted to be up and ready to go. Her therapist, Missy, had called to let me
know she was going to be a little late and wanted to make sure it was ok. I said yes got off the phone and turned
around to tell Megan. When I turned
around my little girl was not breathing and was once again gray from head to toe.
freaked. I pulled her down so she was laying flat and just started crying and
begging her please not to go. I ended
up calling Missy back and saying what do I do? Missy knew our wishes and told me to get off the phone and call
911(duh) and that she was on her way. By
this time I was crying hysterically and trying to calm down to talk to the
dispatcher. I told her I couldn't
remember how to do CPR so she told me to get Meg on the floor and
told me details on how to perform CPR. I
breathed 3 breaths into her before the paramedics got here. The last breath I breathed into her made her half smile. The paramedics got doing what they were doing and I said we had a
modified D.N.R. so I went and got that and by then Missy was here. I ran into the
kitchen where she was and started telling her what had happened and then I called
James. In the next few minutes I would
make the hardest decision I have ever had to make.
One of the paramedics came and asked me if I wanted them to intubate. I looked at Missy and she asked if I could
wait until my husband got here-he would be here very shortly. The paramedic went back into the living room
and came right back and told me Megan's heart had stopped and if they were going to
do anything they needed to do it now. My
heart was saying do what ever is necessary but my brain said she's fought the last 8
months, she's tired let her go. I took
and deep breath and wanted to say intubate but when the words came out it was no
don't do anything. It was 3:45. In the mean time our hospice nurses had showed up
and they were there to support me.
Missy asked if I wanted to hold her and I of
course said yes. I went and sat down
and the paramedics handed her to me. She
looked so peaceful. I rocked her and
cried and sang our song- "You are my sunshine". James showed up and we sat and cried and held our angel together. We had some time alone with her and we had
decided earlier that we would let our family have time with her also. Our hospice nurse called our families and
James's family came over and had their special time with Megan. At about 5:30-6 our nurse said we needed to
get her to the mortuary. She said they
would come get her and we could go with her if we wanted. I went and changed her diaper with help from
out nurse. We had put her slippers on and wrapped her in a soft blanket. I held her all the way to the mortuary and
about collapsed when I had to leave her there.
I had never left her with strangers before and it didn't seem right to do it
now. I finally made it out of the
mortuary after saying goodbye hundreds of times and telling her I'd be back in the
We made the arrangements the next morning and I decided I
wanted to do her hair for the funeral. Everyone
told me I shouldn't but I needed to. My
job for the last 2 years was getting her ready so I said I needed to do this for me.
kissed my Meggy for the last time on August 10, 2000.
A Message From Megan
by A. Manson
and Dad, I came to Jesus today,
sent an angel, who flew me away.
lay sleeping, He whispered to me,
little Megan, He's waiting for thee."
was no pain Mom and Dad, there was no fear,
the presence of Jesus, so safe and so near.
now, you would hardly recognize me,
been given a perfect new body.
arms are so strong, and my legs so straight,
run fast, and jump, and Mom and Dad it's great.
I've been playing all day, and I
sit on Christ's lap.
told me up here I won't have to take a nap.
dear Mom and Dad, I stopped playing awhile,
in the midst of my Joy, I hear you cry.
sending you this message to say,
fine Mom and Dad, I am really okay.
was on Earth, I could not speak,
words of Love, I had to keep.
was given a voice today, and "Praise the Lord"
I can say.
sweet Mom and Dad, don't cry anymore.
is the day I have been waiting for.
You gave us so much happiness and joy in our lives. You taught us what love, unconditional love, is really all about. Your life here was so rough and
uncomfortable and now youíre with Jesus. Youíre
healed, no more suction, no more suction, no more oxygen masks, and your body is so
relaxed that thereís not even and physical therapy there. Iím asking your family thatís with you
now to watch over you and make sure you donít get into any trouble like two year
olds do. I know youíre running around
and playing. Youíre laughing and
smiling. You might even have a tricycle
to ride. Youíre happy.
Youíre in the arms of the angels so fly baby, spread
your wings and fly because now youíre free.
Return to Page 1
of Megan's story.
Mom and Dad.